Paste it in the head!


Friday, September 01, 2006

Why does this bother me?

We broke up three years ago this summer. He was my first real love, my first real boyfriend, the first (and only) boyfriend I've ever lived with. We broke up about six months later than we should have and it COMPLETELY fucked me up. We'd just graduated from college and most of my friends had moved away. I had no job and no place to live, and he left for an overseas program in Ecuador with the tentative understanding that when he returned we would resume our cohabitation. I found a temporary place to live and then visited my parents for a couple of months. In the meantime, he returned from Ecuador, thought things through, and realized that our relationship was over and he was over it. We broke up over the phone when I was still in Miami.

As I said, it really fucked me up.

However, I don't exactly regret anything that's happened since. After that stumble, I picked myself up (and by I, I mean "my friends, family, and I"). I found a job and a different place to live. I started going out with other guys. Eventually, after a shitty post-graduation year in Portland, I moved back home and began the process of applying to grad school.

The ex and I are still sort of in touch. We sort of keep each other up to date on the events in our lives, including moves and grad school and new relationships. He lived in the Czech Republic for a year or so and met a girl there. I HATE that girl. Hate her. Have no idea what she looks like, acts like, who she votes for, what she wears, but I hate her. She has my birthday. It's not bad enough that my ex-boyfriend, my epic relationship, moved on and found someone else. No. She has to have my birthday, too? Bitch.

Anyway, so this guy and I are back in touch apparently, cause he emailed me yesterday. I asked him a bunch of questions about his life in Barcelona, including (stupidly) "Have you hooked up with any Spanish girls?"

He wrote back, answering all of my questions, and in response to that one, revealed that he is--and I quote--"still hung up" on what I like to call That Romanian Bitch Who Has My Birthday And Should Die.

Ugh. I soooo thought that, at this point, after three years and three cities, one year of grad school and more boys than I care to count, I'd be over it. I am dating (I think) a boy who is cute and smart and sweet and interesting and WHO FUCKING BROUGHT ME FLOWERS THE OTHER NIGHT, and I'm still gonna get a little disgruntled that my ex-boyfriend has some long-distance pseudo-romance with a floozy girl? What is wrong with me?


  • Jesse Kinglsey was my first real love (perhaps my greatest, as well) and I broke up with him, 6 years ago, because I wanted to kiss other boys (which I proceeded to do). While I have no interest in getting back with Jesse, ever, I know that if I were to see him with a girl, my stomach would fall to the floor. It is one thing to get over someone and completely another thing to deal with the fact that they have gotten over you. Part of me (most of me) wants Jesse to be alone and pining for me forever. Hey-- I never said I was a good person.

    By Blogger heather., at 8:21 PM  

  • completely normal, as far as i'm concerned. Someone once said to me that you're never completely over 'that someone' until you find someone better...hopefully new guy will be that somone better.

    By Blogger akd, at 10:58 AM  

  • Woman - I don't think it's anything you'll get over. Maybe years and years from now. I was recently in touch with my ex-boyfriend who I dated my senior year of high school. I'm with Drake, have been for over 5 years, and I love him, but when my ex-BF told me he had proposed to his girlfriend, I got all jealous and shit. Which was weird, because I wouldn't want to be with him again, but of course I hated this new girl.
    Girls are weird. I would hate Romanian Bitch with a fiery passion, too.

    By Blogger Kristen, at 1:00 AM  

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