Paste it in the head!


Tuesday, September 05, 2006


Last night, my roommate and I were discussing the pitfalls of new relationships—namely, Getting Your Hopes Up Syndrome. I’m in this new relationship, right, and I’m still figuring it out. It’s only been 2 weeks, but I really like the guy. There seems to be some concern, from my roommate at least, that I might be too enthusiastic about this, too hopeful, too soon. I know that Lorien cares about me and doesn’t want to see me get hurt; in warning me about GYHUS, she’s essentially trying to protect me from myself, cause for all of my flippancy and who-gives-a-shit attitude, I am, unfortunately, emotionally fragile.

I appreciate Lorien’s concern, but I’d like to say a few words in defense of hopes and single girls.

Single girls are nothing if not hopeful. I’d say, in dating and relationships and intimacy and love, it’s all we’ve got. A lot of us—most of us—have been in love, have had our hearts broken, have dated jerks and guys who were nice but were just not that into us. I’ve watched my friends go through the same shit, and each time, it’s always the same. It always begins with hope.

How can we not get our hopes up? How can we meet guys who are (finally) all of whatever it is we’re looking for, and who tell us that we’re beautiful and smart and sexy and perfect, and not be hopeful? The day I hear those things and feeling nothing, or even worse, jaded and cynical, is the day I die.

Yes, being cautious is probably good. Having an instinct for self-preservation is undoubtedly better. But if I am always cautious and always looking for and waiting for someone to mind-fuck me, isn’t that sad? Shouldn’t I allow myself some mental masturbation?

I mean, I am the last person on earth to fantasize about my wedding day, and I never go around naming my children with someone. I don’t believe that love is roses and candles and poetry, puffy clouds and fucking rainbows, but I would like to believe that love, whatever it is, whatever form it takes, is possible. For better or worse, I hope for that.


  • hear hear! keep up your GYHUS! Mental masturbation might be hauntingly like the regular kind: good for you if you keep it to yourself, but seemingly bad when everyone else finds out you do it.

    By Blogger akd, at 10:49 PM  

  • you know what? i would rather keep getting excited, and then suffer a little disappointment, then never feel those butterflies. not that i think that lorien meant that at all...i don't want to put words in her mouth...but just that, i guess, its a fine line between not being hopeful and excited and cutting yourself off from some really great things.

    By Blogger al, at 9:46 AM  

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