Paste it in the head!

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Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Fat Day

Skinny girls can SO have fat days. It's more a state of being than a physical condition, but I still choose to refer to it as Fat Day^.

Let's discuss the symptoms of Fat Day:

*I don't have much of a sweet tooth; however, at work yesterday, I had numerous pieces of coffee cake instead of the applesauce I brought with me

*Last night, I ate nachos, spinach dip, and guacamole for dinner, with tiramisu for dessert

*I stopped at Second Cup for an iced chai this morning, and spent the rest of my walk to work muttering under my breath about how "if I wanted a watery, milky chai, I would've gone to Starbucks"

*My music of choice today is Elliott Smith, whose most uplifting lyrics are "I may not seem quite right/But I'm not fucked, not quite"; and who I always listen to when I want to hear menacing songs about alcoholism, as told from the perspective of the bottle itself ("Drink up with me now/Forget all about/The pressure of days/Do what I say/And I'll make you okay/And drive them away/The images stuck in your head")

*When I woke up this morning and looked at my knitting, I wanted to cry. I KNOW I'm not a perfectionist but I wish my knitting was. Why does it have to be wonky and crooked and awful? Why can't I be good at anything?


^ Fat Day may also be known as DMS (During Menstruation Syndrome), when I have my period and therefore hate myself and my life and am inclined to eat massive quantities of both salty and sweet things because, to my hormone-addled brain, they cancel each other out and so it's like I didn't eat anything at all and can therefore indulge in even more chips/dip/ice cream/cookies. I am SO GLAD I'm on the Pill. What the hell did women do before hormone regulation? Oh, right. They were accused of being hysterical.

7 Comments:

  • what about having breakfast twice? that is another bad part. whenever i'm feeling particularly hormonal i get hungry for cheese and cookies. ahh, if only i was a boy and could just scratch my nuts to achieve zen-like contentment.

    By Blogger McGeekan, at 2:07 PM  

  • and hey, at least when we were being accused of being hysterical, the doctors prescribed cocaine or a 'medical' vibrator.

    ah, those were the days.

    By Blogger al, at 2:46 PM  

  • You use the term "DMS" too?! I'm glad I'm not the only one. I get messed the fuck up during PMS and DMS. Stupid hormones. You are wonderful - don't let the hormones kick your skinny ass too much.

    By Blogger Kristen, at 6:22 PM  

  • AND...you were probably a little bloated. Interestingly, I don't feel fat when I eat a lot or have my period necessarily. I feel fat when I look in the mirror and I have NO calf definition. And then I am fat. If only I had well-defined calves!
    Your knitting is lovely and I really don't see the wonkiness in that blanket (or beginning blanket perhaps). It looks totally cool and so does your sweater.

    By Anonymous Lorien, at 11:42 PM  

  • See, calf definition is just not something I care about. Perhaps because I keep my legs covered at all times at any cost? I have accepted the fact that my legs will always be the bane of my existence, and muscle tone just ain't happening. My mother weighs approximately 90 pounds and she still has what she calls "the Lawlor thunder thighs." So there's no hope.

    By Blogger Tasha, at 9:47 AM  

  • may i make a suggestion?

    You say you're on the pill and you've got crazy hormones.

    I was on the pill beginning age 15ish. I am now 25. That is 10 years of putting my young body through an unnatural hormonal cycle.

    Some gf's of mine felt they were going crazy due to their hormones caused by the pill and decided to take themselves off of it. I was hesitant b/c the reason i went on the pill in the 1st place was due to severe cramping and i was afraid it would return. A woman pointed out to me that it's been 10 years and my body has likely changed since the time of my 15-yr.-old-changing-body and i may not have those debilitating cramps.

    I am now off the pill (3 months and counting) and have NEVER FELT BETTER. I have absolutely no cramping, very minimal bloatedness and feel very 'steady' in terms of emotions etc.

    Of course, this is not for everyone and i am currently single so i don't have the whole 'ohmygawdamipregnant' thing goin for me.
    But i do know one friend who is in a relationship and who is now off and although it requires more attention/carefulness re: their sex lives, she too feels a lot better.

    I would recommend trying it if you feel you're currently experiencing extreme moodiness etc. But of course, being info. professionals, i would also direct you to research it first to see if it's right for you b.c i'm no dr.

    Sorry for the long post, but felt compelled to explain my experience.

    By Blogger akd, at 2:37 PM  

  • and were acused of being witches!
    Damn I wrote that before I read akd's serious comment.

    By Blogger Aundra, at 8:19 PM  

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