Paste it in the head!


Saturday, February 18, 2006


Meet the new addition to the family! His name is Oliver, and he's special.

He's not actually my cat; Lorien and I are watching him while Stephanie and Eddie are out of town (lucky bastards). I looooove cats so I was really excited about having him.

Here's the thing, though--he's kind of--how do I say it--a jerk. I mean, last night he was very endearing, hiding under Lorien's bed and making us think that he was somehow overwhelmed by being in a new house without his owners. Maybe he was scared. Maybe he was vulnerable. I think that was part of his plan, though, to trick us (and by us I mean me) into thinking that he was something that he's not (i.e. nice).

Later, I was in bed reading and he came and sat with me. He sat on my book and I was petting him. It was very cute and I was happy that he had overcome his fear and was being friendly. Then he started biting my arm. I know that cats get weird and bitey sometimes, but this cat, as I said, is special. When he started biting, I grabbed him by the scruff and told him to knock it off. I swatted his nose. He took it as a challenge and started biting even harder, this time stalking my arm and pouncing. That shit hurts, so I kicked him out.

I was kind of worried about him attacking me in my sleep but I sort of forgot about it and started to drift off. The next thing I knew, Oliver had crept into my room and was attacking again. We had a bit of a staring contest, I won, and he left.

So this morning he was as sweet as pie. Hmmm. Maybe he has split personalities? Maybe Evil Oliver took over last night and Sweet Oliver was pushed down into the depths of his subconscious. You have to admit, he looks a little bit evil in that picture.

Anyway, I hope that I survive the next week with Oliver. Come to think of it, I haven't seen him in a while... I wonder what he's up to...


  • oh my god! that's exactly what my cat does! She (Sumoe-wrestler-wonder-kitty) usually bites me in the mornings and I've taken it to mean "I'm hungry, mother, get your lazy ass out" but she also likes biting my girlfriend's toes in the a.m. and her habits are not relegated to the morning only. Anyone who knows me has seen the "track marks" on my forearms from Sumoe, but bottom line is: she's bored.
    Hope Oliver will smarten up--or maybe you could get him a, another cat? hehehehe, that would surprise your friends!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:16 PM  

  • Yeah, Sebastian does that too. I read somewhere just to have a cat toy around to divert their biting attention elsewhere. Whenever he starts that shit his name turns from Sebastian to Ass Hat. I think he responds to both.

    By Anonymous Ninon, at 4:02 PM  

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